Updated: Feb 2
It was the shortest interview I ever had.
He threw me out of that office.
I thought I was gonna faint.
You ever faint?
Everything goes light, your arms and legs
(from the blood surging to core
Leaving the extremities to their own devise.)
That’s how it was on the elevator down.
And then in the street my head pounded from adrenaline
Like when you wake at the wheel
to the sound of rubber over reflectors
After dozing at 75.
That day I leaned on a light pole, then doubled over.
Viscerally torn in pieces
But couldn’t vomit.
And I couldn’t cry either.
This feeling was different.
The shame in confronting my own hubris.
I was sure everyone passing by could see it on me,
or smell it on me, the stink of shame:
from failure, from Hubris,
to have believed that which you are not.
Thought I was a real hot shot
cause I used a briefcase or somethin'.
I heard coffee cake voices on the sidewalk:
"There's the guy who just got chucked out of that office"
If it wasn't the shortest interview,
it was the most humiliating.
I can still get the sick feeling from the experience
Thinking about it now.
So I’ll stop that.
Fainting at the Opera, Carmen, The Met, NYC:
I don't know if it was the first time I fainted
And I don't think it was the last time,
But it was before the turn of the century
That's for sure.
Lincoln Center, The Met, NYC Opera.
They let just about anyone in that place
(who's willing to stand).
I think I paid 10 bucks.
I may have been wearing